Heaven Help Us
by Chinchill
Summary: Life has never been more confusing at Hogwarts, Umbridge is back to bring hell, but the remedy is a sassy American who just happens to be a part vamp. Thus is life at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
1. Chapter 1

Hi y'all my first fanfic so aaaaalllllll flamers are welcome. I like my marshmallows nice and golden. How would you spell marshmallows anyway? My computer says it is spelled marshmallows but I want to spell it marshmelows. Weird. Ok back to the story. R&R and I will give you 100 brownie points and a marshmallow.

Heaven Help Us

Striding confidently down the Great Hall amongst the nervous, wide eyed first

years was a girl of 16. She had long, straight, dark brown hair that swayed as she walked.

Her slim body stood tall as her piercing blue eyes skimmed over the chattering hall of

students. She casually looked on uninterested as the sorting hat was brought out to sing

then as each nervous youngster was called up and sorted.

As Professor McGonagall finished she nodded slowly before sitting down next to Professor Dumbledore who stood and addressed the students, "We are facing a very deadly threat, as most of you know He-who-must-not-be-named has come back. House unity is one of the most important things, as well as courage and faith. As all the older students know the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students as is any product from Weasley Wizards Wheezes," Dumbledore pronounced mischievously looking over his half-moon spectacles at a pair of identical looking red heads.

"A full list will be posted on Mr. Filch's office door for your reference. On a

happier note I would like to say that Gryffindor has its beaters and seeker back. The

Ministry saw fit at the end of the summer to lift their bans on playing. Welcome back."

As the Hall fell back into silence after the cheers of the Gryffindors and the boos

of the Slytherins, Dumbledore continued to speak, "Also we have Professor Umbridge

back with us as well as a double Divination professor, Professor Firenze. Last but not

least I would like to welcome Serene Grey to Hogwarts. Serene is a transfer student from

America and has already been sorted into Gryffindor."

Taking that has her cue Serene walked over and sat at the only seat left at the

tables.

"Dig in," were Professor Dumbledore's last words before the feast appeared.

Okay, okay really short I know but I want to know how many people will read it before I type more cause I NEED feedback! Badly. Anyhoo, if I get 1 review I will type another chapter that is 3, darn no times sign on the keyboard, times longer so R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Next Chappie I promised.

Heaven Help Us

Looking around Serene observed that she was sitting amongst a field of red heads. One was across from her with a bushy haired girl on his left and a raven haired boy on his right. On Serene's left and right were two identical red heads who looked like they had mischief up their sleeve. Knowing her work was cut out for her she piled food on her plate carefully listening to all that was said around her.

"Harry how was your summer? Did those muggles treat you all right?" asked the tomato top across from Serene.

"As fine as they ever treat me. Your letters and gifts were great and saved me from starving. I just wish Dumbledore had let me come and stay with you guys for the rest of the summer," replied the raven haired boy wistfully.

"I'm sure Dumbledore had a good reason, Harry, especially with all the attacks on muggles these days," reasoned the bushy haired girl.

"I just wish I knew what he was up to, my scar hasn't hurt all summer."

"Isn't that a good thing though, I mean, if your scar hasn't been hurting then You-Know-Who isn't trying to get into your mind, right?" questioned tomato top nervously.

"No, that can't be it. I haven't learned Occlumency yet, Ron, remember?"

"Well, we have other things to worry about this year like the exams, studying, and homework," said the bushy haired girl a matter of factly.

"Hermione," whined Ron," Do you have to think about school at a time like this?"

"We are prefects Ron! We have to be role models for the younger students, especially at a time like this! That includes not calling them midgets!" snapped Hermione.

"But they are little people," he whined again.

"I don't care, you will not call them midgets," She hissed back.

"Oh enough Hermione," spoke up the red head on Serene's right. "If you haven't noticed we have a guest," he said indicating to Serene.

"Pay them no heed, my dear…"the other said looking expectantly.

"Serene," she replied sweetly.

"Hah, my dear and sweet Serene has graciously graced us with her presence and you haven't even said hello, shame one you," said the first one wagging his finger at Hermione.

"Oh My Gosh! I'm so sorry I haven't introduced myself yet, my name is Hermione Granger and you are?" she said extending her hand across the table.

"Serene Grey," Serene replied shaking her hand before indicating to the two redheads on either side of her," Who are these two?"

"Ahem, we can answer that," butted in one of the redheads.

"Would you like the long version or the real version?" said the other one.

"Names, then you can go into your life stories. K?" Serene answered with a preppy wide smile.

"We have many names."

"It all depends on whom you talk to."

"Are given names are Gred and Forge," one said indicating which was which.

"However if you talk to McGonagall we are trouble makers, Filch, hooligans, and Peeves, geniuses. To the business world of adults we are the."

"Weasley Wizards Wheezes!" they chimed in together.

Ok Ok I said I would have a chappie that was 3 times as long, well, I lied I am at a decision point and I don't know whether to add the character or not and what exactly she is like. So bear with me.


	3. Chapter 3

I feel so loved! Thank You so much to my 2 reviewers ) Ok on with the chapter since I have no impressive and astonishing info.

Serene just gave them a bored look and said, "Fascinating," then went back to eating.

"Uh O Gred, I think she doesn't think we are impressive enough."

"Quite right, Forge," answered the other. "There for we are forced to…"

He wasn't able to finish cause just then Serene's hair turned a shocking blue and everyone at the table burst out laughing.

"Still not powerful enough for you love?" asked a chuckling Gred.

"Powerful no, stupid yes," Serene replied drawing out her wand.

"Oh now don't go and hex us, it's the beginning of the school year and we'll be in negative points," Forge said pulling out a puppy dog look.

"I am not hexing you," Serene remarked softening a little at the puppy dog look. "I'm just charming you." At once she gave one of them lime green hair with hot pink poke-a-dots and the other's freckles blue his hair was in little dread locks.

Gaping they investigated the others hair like a couple of monkeys. Everybody else was too busy laughing, even Snape wasn't looking as scowly as usual. Of course that was saying something.

Smiling innocently Serene said," See if you piss me off this is what happens. It won't wash off, be hexed off, and if you shave your heads it will come back the exact same way it is. The only thing that will take it off is if you are in my good graces. So I suggest you better start groveling."

"Yes O saint." Gred mocked groveling.

"Teach us the wisdom of your ways, O great one," Forge said humble.

"Maybe some other time right now I'm hungry," Serene remarked bored already.

"Where did you learn that?" Hermione asked eyeing their new hair dos and freckles.

"My sister taught me, she likes really weird spells and potions. Half the time she is almost blowing up her room cause of a potion gone wrong. The best part is seeing her covered in green or fuchsia or whatever colors the slime happens to be. Quite pathetic if you ask me," Serene finished without looking up from her meal.

"You have to introduce us to your sister sometime," Forge said looking up from where he was trying to get Gred's dread locks to stand up straight. "She sounds fascinating."

"Hardly," was Serene's reply before the food disappeared and Dumbledore stood up.

Speaking carefully Dumbledore said," I wish you all a happy year and since it is late and I am tired off to bed you go."

One by one everybody got up and made their way out the giant door and to their respective dormitories with the Prefects and Heads leading the way. Grumpily Serene made her way to the Gryffindor dormitories (password: House Unities) and straight to bed.

Next Day 

The next morning Serene woke to someone gently shaking her awake. Confused for a moment Serene blinked sleepily at the person who was trying to wake her up. All at once the memories flooded back and she was wide awake.

Speaking gently Hermione said," You better wake up if you want any breakfast. Oh, and you do relies your hair's still blue?"

"Alright give me a minute," Serene mumbled fumbling to get ready. She was not a morning person, obviously.

As Hermione waited Serene gathered her stuff, slung it over her shoulder and headed down the stairs where Harry and Ron were waiting.

"What took you so long?" asked Ron.

"I didn't want to leave Serene behind," Hermione replied grabbing her bag full of books off the table nearest.

"You were just doing that to make up for ignoring her last night," Ron said cheekily.

Turning red Hermione said," I am not, it's just that she is new and I am a Prefect which entitles that I help all new students."

"You didn't have to wait for her you could have just come down once you woke her up," Ron shot back climbing through the portrait hole.

As they made their way down to the Great Hall Ron and Hermione bickered while Harry and Serene just trailed behind listening. As they reached the Gryffindor table they sat down and piled food on their plates and listened while Ron and Hermione bickered some more.

"Do they always do that?" Serene asked in between mouthfuls.

"Yep, and you get used to it after a while. They just don't get that they are made for each other," was Harry's tired reply. "Ah mails here."

With a screech dozens of owls poured through the window delivering papers and mail to their respective person. An overexcited owl came careening into the table before hopping in front of Ron effectively ending his and Hermione's argument.

Untying the letter which happened to be twice the size of the owl, Ron opened the envelope. Inside was a thick wad of folded up parchment. Separating the wads Ron handed one to Harry and took the other one to read.

As Harry scanned through his letter his eyes darkened and his hands began to shake from the tension of keeping them clenched on the letter. Looking up Ron saw his friend's reaction.

"What's up mate?" Ron asked concerned.

"Dumbledore just wanted to inform me that Sirius's will has been verified and all of his things will be transferred to my vault. He also wished to inform me I will have a new teacher to teach me Occlumency this year," was Harry's terse reply.

Unable to find anything to say Ron just stared at Harry while Hermione looked sympathetic. Interrupting their pity party was McGonagall handing out schedules. As she handed out the 6th year Gryffindors' Ron groaned loudly.

"Can you believe we have Potions first thing this morning, and with the Slytherins no less? And we have double potions Wednesday with the Slytherins again!"

"Oh Ron, honestly! Potions isn't that bad, you just have to pay attention," snipped Hermione. All at once the two of them were in an argument again. They ended up arguing all the way down to the dungeons. So far they had only quit long enough to arrange seating. Which ended up with Ron and Hermione paired up at one table and Harry and Serene were paired up at another.

As they waited and watched Ron and Hermione argue a group of Slytherins came through the dungeon door. Glancing around they went to sit in a group at the other end of the room.

Curious Serene turned to Harry and asked who they were.

"They are the Slytherins we will be having Potions with. Their ring leader is a ferret, his name is Malfoy," Harry said glancing over at where the Slytherins were sitting.

"It is so nice you guys have pet names," Serene commented before going back to the entertainment of Ron and Hermione's great bickering brigade.

As the minutes passed the rest of the students dribbled in slowly. By the time all the class was ready the teacher still hadn't showed up. After a while of hushed conversation Snape finally swooshed in looking like an over bearing bat. Instantly all conversation stopped as the class looked nervously at their bat of a professor. With a swish of his wand instructions were written on the board.

"Partners will be whomever you are sitting next to. When you and your partner have completed the potion, bottle it in one of the labeled vials and stick it on my desk for grading. Homework due Wednesday is a three foot essay on all potions done last year and their properties. The homework due next week is another batch of the assigned potion along with an essay that says all of the ingredients and what part they play in the potion. I also expect a small essay of 6 inches on the differences in the potion you bottle today and the potion you hand in latter. Include what might cause these changes. Now get to work," Snape barked out.

The potion was a very easy healing potion Serene had done many times. The potion was called Potion of Inairgy. As long as the receiver wished to live the potion would aid in all healing energies.

Finishing up the notes before Harry she asked him where the ingredients were before lighting a fire under their cauldron. As she looked over the ingredients in the storage room she realized how boring this class would be, especially without her sister to lighten things up. Grabbing the needed vials she headed back to her working area where Harry was waiting for her. Silently they got working on the Inairgy. A few times she let Harry mess up the potion slightly so all she had to do was add one too many beetles shells and…

BANG!

The potions exploded, covering Harry and Serene in a blotchy blue purple goo. At once Snape was looming over them.

"What happened here?" he asked in a deadly calm voice.

Acting ashamed Serene said," I must have added one too many beetle shells sir."

"So it would see," he replied in his deadly calm voice. "Since you have seen it fit to disturb the class with your stupidity, a detention will be warranted to the both of you for this evening after dinner. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir," they mumbled before they started to clean up the mess.

Serene bottled what was left in their cauldron before banishing the rest to a certain bed in the Slytherin dorms.

Stopping there cause I'm mean, busy and incredibly stupid. I redid were I brought Malfoy in cause I didn't like the other way I brought him in. I also have no time at the moment nor any motivation to write (AKA send a review, even if it is to say hello) I am sinking as low as bribery. Review you get a marshmallow (crispy burnt cause I don't know how to make them with out burning them) AND another chapter. I'm rambling good day.


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